Claiming Words

Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers. Ephesians 4:29

Words matter. Speaking them, writing them, and putting them to use in sentence structure creates a story. It gives power. Power to the narrative and to the purpose of something is extremely influential. It is one of the most poignant examples of effect out there. A fictional story published online about an individual that is famous or royal can wreak havoc on the person, and the public. Whether or not it is true. The same goes for us. What we speak and what is spoken over us has power. It can create a storyline for our lives and therefore, color our views.

Words matter. Speaking them, writing them, and using them in a sentence structure create a story. It gives power. One of the most poignant examples of power. Power to the narrative and to the purpose of something is extremely influential. A fictional story published online about a famous or royal individual can wreak havoc on the person and the public. Whether or not the words are true. The same goes for us. What we speak and what is spoken over us has power. It can create a storyline for our lives. Claiming them creates who we are and what we eventually become.

God gave us the written word to give us power in knowing our story and how it can intersect with His. It helps us by forming our knowledge of what is true about us and what is false. Recently, I went to a conference where they were trying to get us to rewrite our Identity to a better more godly view of ourselves. This technique is not new and many phycologists use it to help create a better version or viewpoint. This is not an “alter ego” but a true identity shift. Examples are many and great but to keep it simple I’ll give two. The identity of unworthy to worthy, or from unloved to lovable.

We see God change Abram to Abraham (Genesis 17:5 No longer will you be called Abram; your name will be Abraham, for I have made you a father of many nations..). Another name shift is when Jesus changes Simon’s name to Peter. (John 1:42 And he brought him to Jesus. Jesus looked at him and said, “You are Simon son of John. You will be called Cephas” (which, when translated, is Peter).

We all speak things over ourselves that despite being false or inaccurate we still claim over our lives and relationships. Yet, Half-truths are still not true.

What does Jesus call me and you? When he lay down his life he claimed us as, remarkable. Worthy of every effort! The definition of the word Remarkable is: worthy of attention and notice. Jesus sees you and notices you and wants to give you a new identity. He wants to give you a new story.

Like the news article with half-truths about the royal family in London, we can choose to take half-truths and falsehoods into our stories or we can choose the Truth of God.

In those early years of my married life (and even today), many friends and strangers have said that the honeymoon phase would eventually end and the rose-colored glasses would fade.  People said that our feet weren’t on the ground and that we were blinded by love.  And another common phrase…

  “Just wait, it’ll hit you.” 

Why anyone would choose to be that negative and pessimistic about the institution and covenant of marriage is completely false. Yet, many take this mindset as truth. They claim these words over their relationship and life. It becomes the way they shape their story. Marriage was made to be a connection, a joy, a reflection of God and us, and one of the few constants in this variable world.  

Now let us fast forward to your marriage and the lens that colors everything. How are you speaking life into your relationship and your spouse?
We know from scripture that the enemy comes to steal and destroy. One of his best ways in doing this is by using words. He comes to not just rip off your rose-colored glasses but to shatter the lenses completely. Yet, with Christ Jesus, we don’t just get a pair of glasses to view things more beautifully. He gives us new eyes to see with! Matthew 6:22 – “The eye is the lamp of the body; so then if your eye is clear, your whole body will be full of light. As believers, our eyesight is not just tinted rose gold, but red. When we see through the lens of Jesus’ sacrifice, our relationships are full of light!

What we speak over ourselves is crucial. It is even more important when it comes to maintaining a vigorous relationship throughout the course of our married life. I hope you choose the truth of what God says about you and your marriage today. I hope you speak life into your spouse!


  • What story are you writing in your marriage? Do you need a plot shit?
  • What are the lies about marriage that you believe?
  • Have you taken on a negative Identity when it comes to your relationship? How might you re-write it?
  • What words are you going to claim over your relationship this year and beyond?


Lord Jesus, what new Identity do you want to give my marriage?

*sit and let the Lord speak to your heart.

Example of positive words for your relationship:
Chosen – 1 Peter 2:9 But you are A CHOSEN RACE, A royal PRIESTHOOD, A HOLY NATION, A PEOPLE FOR God’s OWN POSSESSION, so that you may proclaim the excellencies of Him who has called you out of darkness into His marvelous light.

Blessed – Ephesians 1:3 Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us in the heavenly realms with every spiritual blessing in Christ.

Thriving – Psalms 92: 12 The righteous will flourish like a palm tree, they will grow like a cedar of Lebanon;

Favored – Psalms 30: 5 For his anger lasts only a moment, but his favor lasts a lifetime; weeping may stay for the night, but rejoicing comes in the morning.

Passionately Loved – Romans 8:38 And I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from God’s love. 

Extraordinary – Ephesians 2:10: We are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared us to do.

Valuable – I Peter 1:18 -19 Knowing that you were not redeemed with perishable things like silver or gold from your futile way of life inherited from your forefathers, but with precious blood, as of a lamb unblemished and spotless, the blood of Christ. 

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