Hover Mom

I am hyper. I am over the top with expectations on myself (they can spill over onto others at times.) I like things “just so” and have spent most of my life trying to keep things that way. I like them that way. I like order, schedules, and neatness. My husband when we first were a couple tried to tell me how to fold towels “the right” way. I knew then and there I had met my match! When someone teases me about this I say “God is a God of order!” and then laugh but secretly I think they are crazy for not living the same way.

This is all well and good; until you have kids. They change things. Actually, they change everything and nothing, all at once. Your perfectly organized dvd collection and color coordinated closets become mass collections of “oh its clean” and the dvd’s are sorted by “kid friendly… or not”. Nothing else matters. Some people would say I’ve just learned to let loose a bit. My family would say I’m worse.

You see, instead of matching all my socks and having smear free windows I have opted to be hyper over something else. I’m hyper about my kids. I am what they call a “Hover Mom”.

the term became popular enough to become a dictionary entry in 2011. Similar terms include “lawnmower parenting,” “cosseting parent,” or “bulldoze parenting.” Helicopter parenting refers to “a style of parents who are over focused on their children,” says Carolyn Daitch, Ph.D.,

TOP DEFINITION
hover mom
Just as it sounds, an overly cautious mother who thinks her kid is in extreme danger all the time and can’t bare to leave it’s side.

 

I love my kids so much it is very easy to do this. If you work hard to even be able to have children and finally do they become very, very precious!

I recently had to drop off my children somewhere where I didn’t feel 100% ok about it. I left them with two double spaced typed sheets of instructions. All med’s (just in case) and everything but the kitchen sink. They were fine, they had a blast, and half of it was not needed. But what if….never mind. You get the point.

What is that one thing that right now is your strength but could become your downfall?

God is a God of order. He also made me this way and I like to think that He “hovers” over me. I, also, have to make sure I am trusting fully, relying on, and leaning toward Him. Making sure the gifts He has given me don’t become my fallout.

Think about it. What are your strengths? Are they also your weaknesses? Do you like to lead but because you do you struggle with correction or being a follower? Are you quiet and a great listener? Does this also make you more prone to “checkout” at times? If your aware of it you can make sure your strengths stay strengths and not the unraveling point. Lets keep our strengths, strong!

“Only you can pin point whats holding you back” – Julie Morgenstern

Opening your Heart

Romans 12:13
13 When God’s children are in need, you be the one to help them out. And get into the habit of inviting guests home for dinner or, if they need lodging, for the night.

Life Application Study Bible lists this footnote:

“Christain hospitaility differs from social entertaining. Entertaining focuses on the host-the home must be spotless; the food must be well prepared and abundant; the host must appear relaxed and good natured. Hospitality, by contrast, focuses on the guests. Their needs-whether for a place to stay, nourishing food, a listening ear, or acceptance-are the primary concern. Hospitality can happen in a messy home. It can happen around a dinner table where the main dish is canned soup. It can happen while the host and guest are doing chores together. Don’t hesitate to offer hospitality just because your too tired, too busy, or not wealthy enough to entertain.”

A while ago, someone spoke something  to me and hurt my heart. They didnt mean to but they were so focused on there agenda that they failed to ask questions or even just really look at me and what was going on at the time. The focus really wasnt about me but what they thought. Have you ever had this happen? I think it correlates with Mary and Martha and true hospitality. Are you focused on appearance or on Jesus?

Luke 10:38-40
Living Bible

38 As Jesus and the disciples continued on their way to Jerusalem they came to a village where a woman named Martha welcomed them into her home. 39 Her sister Mary sat on the floor, listening to Jesus as he talked.

40 But Martha was the jittery type and was worrying over the big dinner she was preparing.

And then I remembered my parents. They were not exactly a pristine household. They had five kids after all. Chipped dishes, a messy house and yelling while playing cards was the norm. Yet everyone loved to come to “The Rockwell Home”. To have a cup of bad coffee and some of my mom’s famous pecan pie. Or my Dad’s steak and mushrooms. Not fancy, just a place they could hang-out. Do you know why? Because they made it about other people. Everything else didn’t matter.

I have a friend who is awesome at hosting! She knows what the difference is and I feel so welcome to come throw myself on her couch, chunk my shoes across the room, and I talk her ear off about raising my kids. She’s a perfect example opening her heart and her home. Are you?

My charge to you and me is to take to heart the quotes and notes from the Application footnotes and be a host. A true host. Open up your home and heart to others. Who are you inviting into your world and blessing. Are you too busy with your own agenda and life to notice someone elses need? Are you so focused on getting your point across you fail to see the true pain in the others eyes when your “telling them” your encouragement? Are you a Mary or Martha? An Entertainer or a Host?

Filling the Tank!

What do you do when you get tired, stressed, bored, or cranky?

Recently, I have found myself pushing off some of the things that help me to keep my purpose in focus. I have allowed everyday chores and life to push out some of those little important self-care things. So often when people think of “self-care” they think of selfish focused things and items or hygiene. Neither one is right! Yes, pedicures and fixing your hair are good things and a bubble bath seems “self-focused” but in the end it is helping restore you to a place of balance so that you can feel good and can care more deeply. You can be more focused in the now (when you are dealing with your screaming toddler , you can have patience. It’s a win for everyone and something that is not an option! If you allow these little pick me ups to go to the sidelines of life the rest of you will too.

Behind this exercise is an excercise that I did not personally create but have tweaked and is a great tool!!! This week I am hoping you all take notes and really put this to action! Don’t just read it and move on but take action and do!!

The list is to help you identify – and then remember – the exact things you can do in order to feed your soul, energize your body, balance your day, and/or ‘snap out of it’.

List the things that you really enjoy doing, and write down how long it usually takes for that item to do its magic on you. These must be things that really energize, nurture, and/or center you. They may be things that you either usually do not find time to do or that you simply do not give yourself permission to do. Hint: If even thinking about doing them makes you feel either silly or guilty—you are on the right track! You know…things like a bubble bath while reading People magazine, or deleting all those old e-mails you never answered. You know, fun stuff!

Try and include some ‘quick fixes’ (e.g., listening to a beautiful song), as well as some activities that take a bit longer (e.g., read an entire book or travel to wine country). Then make it a point to schedule some of these treats into your weekly/monthly schedule until they become second nature! Fill in the a check mark on the right (the ‘Often’ column) once you have integrated the Resorer into your routine on a regular basis.

  1. My Restorers

  2. Magic Time

  3. Often