I am not very active on social platforms. I do a lot of my posting on a schedule and a timed frame. I do it very much after the fact of the events. It is planned and methodical. Often I do not check back until my next post. This keeps me able to enjoy it, manage it and relive the events in a healthy and productive way. I have some friends who post all the time and spend hours every day just scrolling social feeds. Some don’t post but scroll and keep up with online more than their very own families. Some have deleted it all together.
Everyone is different when it comes to social media and that is perfectly fine. Healthy too. I have come to the conclusion however that it would be very beneficial for all of us to have a set of “manners” to adhere to when it comes to our online lives. If you want to have awesome social friends, you have to be a good social friend!
Here are my personal top tips:
Follow Inspiration – create your top 50 list for high content. What gives you greater vision and information? Start there and then go down – According to the theory, the tightest circle has just five people – loved ones. That’s followed by successive layers of 15 (good friends), 50 (friends), 150 (meaningful contacts), 500 (acquaintances) and 1500 (people you can recognize). If someone’s profile has more than that you can bet on it they have zero real connection with any more than that circle of numbers. The rest is just fluff.
Follow you friends and family – If you can’t post something because Grandma is also on Facebook then you just shouldn’t post it. There is a difference between being real and just being too much. Also, respond with gratitude and hearts and appreciation for your tribe when they send you notes of any kind. It is like the appropriateness of sending RSVP’s and email responses.
Block everything else – inappropriate, vulgar, slandering, unhelpful, or just plain noise. You don’t have time for that and neither does anyone else. do not waste your time or others with it.
Never Ever Respond to negative unhelpful things. If you do come across those who are unkind even after all the work of creating healthy circles, choosing Joy, love, and kindness is the only way to go. Do not engage with people who choose to blast meanness or political propaganda. Always choose kindness or not at all. Period.
Know your mission for being Social – what is your media mission? Know your audience and yourself. Are you a mommy blogger, a family connector, a fashion model, an athlete, an interior designer, a coach, a teacher, a lifestyle influencer? What is the main focus of the social account? My facebook account is a shared profile that connects right into my other feeds and is only there for informing all of what we are up to and how we are. My Insta accounts are unique to marriage ministry and then my other account is broader with a lifestyle influencer focus. My theme’s run around creating an Exceptional life, (as does my blog). I tired tik-tok and snap chat but do not see my value there so I am not on those platforms any longer. I have a bereal but am still out on jury for that one. The point is to know what the platform is bringing you and what benefit you bring to it.
Believe that being social is life giving. Many people have a very negative outlook on social media. This is due to the negative influence’s of some things with it. The addictiveness, the misuse of news, the monitoring and privacy issues, the hate, the hacking, and the authenticity problems. But this is not all of it. People have reconnected with long lost relatives, others have created entire businesses and incredible visibility through it. If you see it as negative instead of a tool to be used well, consider not using it or change your perspective. If you only see it as draining, a waste of time and bad – then why do it? This is a tool and like all tools can be used for good or bad and can be looked at as beneficial or a hazard. The resource’s of social media are to be points of connection, a place for authentic genuine meaning versus tricking people or playing games. If you can not be genuine and positive then it might not be for you.
Real Life is always better. If you are using it to a point of over use where interacting online is taking over actual living consider doing a tech detox. How do you know you need to do this? Here are a few examples:
- You do emails or social scrolling at dinner
- You answer any ding the minute it comes in
- You spend more time on social feeds than you do with your family
- You would rather scroll than hangout
- You never have enough time in your day
- You have an urge to check and check again
I hope these tools of a few extra manners helps you be the best social friend ever! Happy socializing.