No Longer Legal

No Longer Legal

On one particular “girl nights” this past summer I played one of those question games where you get to know people better. Things like, “If you were a unicorn what would you do?” or “If we were all in a fire who would be best equipped to handle the exit strategy?” All of these questions were really funny but the answers made them even funnier! This little game however led my husband and I to use one of the questions in a very different capacity.

As most of you know, we speak, write and encourage couples on relationship success, lifestyle, and high performance living.  One of the questions on that specific night loaned itself to some incredible insight.

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“If you could make one legal thing no longer legal what would it be?” 

The answers on the night of that ladies trip were broad and humorous. What was interesting was that this particular question sat in my mind for a while. It kept coming back up for me but in totally different ways. It caused me to think further and more profoundly on the matter of what we choose to allow to dictate space and ideas as ok in our lives.

The thought that I kept coming back to was, what we allow to be “legal” in our lives that shouldn’t be. Things we absorb and the things we deem ok. These ideas and concepts that  for whatever reason we just take as fact and acceptable. They are not good, right, or beneficial in any way. Things  and phrases like “marriage is hard,” verbal assault under the blanket of “constructive feedback,” violence in any form, hate, malnutrition. All of these things are things we should deem “No Longer Legal.”

When I rattle off this list most of us would say we would love to have all of those things eradicated from our lives.  Yet, personally we malnourish ourselves all the time, we hate any and every single opinion that is different from our own, and we orally assault ourselves with negativity that we would never ever let anyone else say.

So I ask again, What legal thing should you make no longer legal in your life? Not in any way should you accept this, not from others or from your self. Choose to say enough.

Things like:

  • verbal assault
  • hate
  • negative venting
  • gossip
  • malnutrition
  • substance medicating
  • rudeness
  • judgement
  • unhealthy thoughts that don’t serve you
  • negative feedback
  • arrogance

None of these things are loving. And like Carrie Underwood says: “We believe that in the end love wins!”

Creating Exceptional standards for what we are going to allow in our lives will help us to live more fully! So what standards are you making for yourself and for your relationships?

Galatians 5: 22-23 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law.
+++ If you enjoy these concepts and would like to have Steve and Kate as special guests on a podcast, blog, or to speak at an event near you go checkout An Exceptional Romance for further information on how to engage with these authors!

For the Love of Books and Relationships

For the Love of Books and Relationships

 

 

I heard once that 82% of the world has at least one book idea, some have many more. Only 20% of people move past that phase and go on to the next. To write it and to publish. I am one of those stats. When we first started on this journey, we never thought it would be what it is today. We are humbled and over joyed!

I claim myself a writer. A blogger. And an avid reader. However my blog is a small audience and my claim of “writer” was because I write almost everyday in a private journal. I read but I am not as fast as I would like. I have more books in my “want to read” list as much as I have actually read. I have files on my computer for novel’s and book ideas.

Ann Lamot would say “mostly its all trash.”

I always dreamed I would write a book and have it published. Floating out there in the world  of “one day”, I could also claim the title that I was a “visionary” and a dreamer too. It was just a dream and a far off one at that. One of those pie in sky, may never really happen kinda things.

One day on a date, my husband who encourages me the most pushed the button of one day to “lets make it today”.

We cannot tell you how thrilled we are to have this small part of our journey written down! Initially, this was going to be written for our children. Just a small snapshot of the things, we believe, that can set you up for the best romantic relationship possible.

As we continually talked about the content to friends, publishers, and young people, we were encouraged to write it for more than our two kids. We heard from many that despite hundreds of relationship books out there, the need is still great. 

It is a short manual of sorts. We wanted this book to be a quick read and a powerful punch that anyone could get a hold of and use for their benefit. Our viewpoints are Biblically based, infused with real life stories, and has a culturally informed premise. We offer feasible life application that ensues success as you cultivate something unique in your relationship. By choosing to walk out the concepts outlined in this book, we hope to help inspire by empowering you in your romance. 

This is our journey of a dream. From the idea all the way to full on published authors. We hope it inspires you on how you too can put your idea out into the world!

  • Write. We started on napkins at a restaurant high top but the point is just get it out from your head and make it tangible.
  • Ask someone if it s a good idea before moving forward. We talked to some very strategic people in our life to make sure this was something they thought would be good for us to venture into. You need to find someone who can be fully honest with you. “Is it a good idea? Is this the right time? If nobody likes it would you still write it?”
  • Write more. Once you have decided to go all in on it, write. Then write some more. We started with a motivational speech really. That became our introduction. We took some of our blogs on the ideas and concepts we wanted to elaborate on and then wrote a proposal. After that we wrote and wrote. Lots of it was not used. Ans we wrote on chapters that ultimately we shifted and had the other write instead. Be prepared for this.
  • Have a co author or accountability partner. I would not have ever put it out there if it wasn’t for my husband. It would still be sitting on my desk unedited. he on the other hand would probably have never started the process. Having someone to be accountable to made all the difference.
  • Create a cover design. We spent some time really thinking about the design and look we wanted for our book. If you want it to grab people make sure it would grab you and of course that you love it!
  • 99Designs. We took our ideas to a company that then formatted 100’s of different ideas for our book and paid the extra money to make it happen. this was by far one of the best ideas we did! They formatted it for paperback and for kindle versions. We recommend them to everyone!
  • Meet with as many authors and publicist as possible! Ask lots of questions. We ended up meeting with over six different authors and four different publishing houses to learn as much as possible about this process and all the different approaches you can take.
  • Edit. This is my least favorite part. personally. I am horrible at editing. It is time consuming and reveals my flaws like nothing else.
  • Have a friend edit. Pick someone who will comb through it and kindly give you feed back. Preferably someone who is excellent at grammar.
  • Higher an actual editor. This is not a step I would ever skip. I know that there are many places now where you can just upload your work but if you want it to be done well and to be an enjoyable read for more than just your mom you must choose to invest in professional editor!
  • re-read. As you do this you will go through so many emotions! You be so proud and then you will thing everything you wrote is garbage! Just read. Make some notes think about it and talk to your co-author or the team behind you.
  • re-write entire sections due to the re read.
  • Find a publicist and launch as well as you know how. You only know who you know, and what you know. A pub-list can help you reach wider than that. Do your best and allow God to use it however it is suppose to be used. Don’t fret about sales, reviews, or the fear of being buried in a saturated market. You did your part. Continue to do so and leave the rest to God.
  • CELEBRATE! After everything it is hard not to get wrapped up in the next project or relive the relief that it is done. Do not forget to give yourself the acknowledgment of your accomplishment!

If you are interested in reading our book or supporting us in anyway with this project go to Amazon, Lulu.com, Or Barnes and Noble to order your copy today!! You can use any of the links above or go to An Exceptional Romance and order your copy today!

  • We hope that you will pass this book out to friends, co-workers, and small groups. Use them as birthday, wedding gifts, and Christmas presents. Help us sell books. It’s that simple! The only way new writers are ever heard of is by people like you and me shouting about it. By doing this you are supporting writers, the reading world, the publishing industry, and relationships everywhere! The hope is that this book will encourage, equip, and give life!

Thank you for your confidence and support in this project. We are honored to see how our simple story and thoughts might bless others to do the same things in their romances and with their dreams.

Happy Reading!