I had a friend recently encouraged me. Well I understood that she was trying to encourage me…
The person made a comment to try to encourage me in my role as a mother. I was feeling down and very much unqualified for the large task of creating a life quipped and taught the beautiful nature of Christ’s love. The comment when first said sounds good and is a typical comment. It is often said in my circles to try to release guilt or control, that we as parents don’t actually have in the first place. The comment is:
“Your kids are not a reflection of you.”
The point of the comment is to release you of feelings that you have the ultimate control. That it’s not your fault and that it doesn’t mean you are a bad mom. That choice is involved and they may still choose to go a different path despite all your amazing work.
I strongly disagree with this statement. We can make a difference. To me this is my generations copout to our calling as parents. And yes its a calling! This is not just another role we put on. This is not the time to give ourself a pass and call it “grace”. My children are reflections of me. All the way down to the reflection of the sinful nature that flows through us all – they are reflections.
Now is the time to step up to the ministry of motherhood, to encourage and equip our children. To realize that we are shaping the next generation, and it is our responsibility and that we can and will create it for better or worse. That is our responsibility.
We must go back to the biblical truth’s of motherhood. It is said that all scripture is for teaching and correcting (2 Timothy 3:16) and that it doesn’t return void (Isaiah 55:11). I believe that what I do, matters and that I must be about commitment and love. Always. I am not allowed to give my kids a pass. “oh kids, will be kids”. I’m not allowed to give myself a pass in the statement of “what they do is not a reflection of me”. Because it is. Every single thing absolutely is. That doesn’t mean I let it define me….God does that. (and that is another blog but, responsibility is responsibility.
Titus 2:4 so that they may encourage the young women to tenderly love their husbands and their children, to be sensible, pure, makers of a home [where God is honored], good-natured, being subject to their own husbands, so that the word of God will not be dishonored.
God has called us to The things [the doctrine, the precepts, the admonitions, and the sum of ministry] entrusted to us [as a treasure]. We are supposed to be reliable and faithful mothers – so that we will also be capable and qualified to teach others. (2 Timothy 2:2)
Sally Clarkson says it perfectly
“its easier sometimes to tell myself, “we do our devotions, we go to church, they memorize scripture. That’s all they need. I do enough.” but it’s not enough. what they really need is my life, my heart, my touch, my love, my patience, my correction, my gentleness, and my encouragement. They need me to be able to be there during the many teachable moments of each day, transforming them into discipling moments because of my spiritual intent for their lives.”
Its simple. Be Faithful and reliable to what we have been entrusted with. To be available in a world that says we must do and be a thousand things but not present. Â If we do this it is to show them it’s not perfection but my time that matters. Let us remember as mothers to keep it simple. Simple isn’t easy. In fact its the opposite.
It is so very hard to stay faithful and to stay connected in a world that says to be more complicated is to be more fulfilled. Living simply in the now and in the hard times of training and tantrums is to reveal the most beautiful and definitely the most peaceful way to live. It shows them and the world that I will not stick them in front of a screen, or project, or distraction but, that they mean more. Their soul means more. It allows us to create and to make a difference, where it matters the most. For the next generation.
My mother did this the absolute best. I am grateful for her training, and for choosing the hard road of being present, of living simply with the convictions of God’s Word and His purpose for our lives. Her dedication to being faithful with what was in front of her is the reason the picture of her kids (the five of us above) are alive in Jesus.
Happy Thanksgiving. May you be strengthened in your own ministry of motherhood.