First let me just say that this “how to” is a “me too” post. It’s a “How Too”. LOL.
Today we are talking about compassion. I have had the beautiful privilege of recently walking out giving myself a break and having personal compassion! Life experience in this area has been truly one of the best things I can coach on!
Let me set the stage for you:
I have been playing catch up over the last couple of months. For some odd reason, I can’t ever get ahead of the laundry. Why? I have no idea. My once regular writing schedule is sporadic at best with all the winter sickness and a move in the mix. But everyone else moves and has sick kids too. What is the big deal? I was not prepared when my kid’s school parties came around this last month. Seriously?!! Exercise and friends have had to be something I fit in when I get the chance. Yes, I know, my poor friends! My kids and husband have had to give me lots of grace with how tired I am due to all my going on with work, writing, and planning for a mission trip.
On top of that I was getting more and more frustrated with myself. Becoming more aware of my short fallings and pushing harder was not motivating or helping in any way.
Then I heard someone say that giving yourself compassion instead of pushing through could be the winning ticket. My first instinct when I heard this was that this was a weakness. Giving a pass to be lazy, undisciplined, and a poor unprepared mother is not ok in my book. But…here me out. This is not that.
“Compassion is all-inclusive. Compassion knows no boundaries. Compassion comes with awareness, and awareness breaks all narrow territories.” Unknown
When you see your self as a beautiful person of value, who makes mistakes and can’t do it all you are your giving yourself an awareness. With this you can break the negative self talk and narrow views you hold onto. It frees you to move forward. It gives you permission to give yourself forgiveness and mercy. Forgiveness means a 180 turnaround. This is not a permission slip to be lazy or give up.
So often when people think of compassion they thing they are giving people a free pass and that is not motivating but statistics are proving this to be a wrong assumption. You no longer are wasting energy beating yourself up. Your free to look at what you have done, cut yourself some slack, and then move on. So give yourself a break! You will be amazed at what you can do! Out of this understanding flows health and great progress. This is not-self pity, self-complacency, or self-reliance. It is grace and honesty combined.
P.S. This is great to use with others as well!
Number One: Don’t judge – hug yourself by doing something loving and thoughtful. A bubble bath, a nap, a 20 minute walk – Advocate for yourself by being your own cheerleader. You cheer for everyone else, isn’t it time you cheer for you?
Number Two: Accept the emotions. So often we stuff our feelings. The sooner you allow what your feeling to fully be you can walk through it and move on.
Number Three: Express respect and appreciation. How often do you speak amazing wonderful encouraging things to yourself? Who talks to you the most? Its yourself!!! Be kind.
Number Four: Walk in patience – Rome wasn’t born in a day, give yourself the gift of time and grace on your journey. As women we have a sense about things and often when it comes to ourselves we ignore those feelings. Choose to listen more.
Colossians 3:12 Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience.