There is a natural line-up to life. Your born, you live, you pass on. Much of how we do things in that space also has rhythms. Some of us have better systems in place than others but for the most part we all, Wake-up, brush teeth, work five days (sometimes six), take weekend’s off, vacation once or twice a year. Just like in life, it seems that some people hit the jack pot with their love lives. These are the ones that “got lucky”, made it work, have “an easy go of it”, a story to stand the test if time, and seem to always be content and madly affectionate towards each other.
What most of us fail to see is that like life, romance has a pattern. It starts with attraction, sparks fly, comfort levels grows, needs arise which are either met or not. And just like the “lucky ones” in life , the ones with incredible romantic lives have just cultivated a better flow and cadence than the rest of us. A system, a romantic rhythm that flows naturally and builds better.
How do we ensure that the life we live is in fact one we actually enjoy? That it is a life we are proud of? How do we do this for our romantic lives? The answer may seem simple at first glance but it takes effort to attain. You create a strong, regular, repeated pattern that can help you function and thrive! You create a rhythm for romance.
Top 7 Rhythms for An Exceptional Romance
- Go to Bed Together – Surprise this is simple! This is something many do not do. Someone is a night owl, another goes to bed early. Someone watches sports and another wants to watch a romantic comedy. The couple ends up in separate rooms watching different things or doing activities to wind down and one individual is crawling to bed after the other is long asleep. This activity spices thing up fast and creates greater intimacy instantly.
- Date Night Regularly – It doesn’t have to even be a date night where you find a sitter. Swap with friends or put kids to bed and then have an in home date night. Dress up, treat each other with special consideration, buy flowers, light a candle, play cards. If you do go to go out be adventurous!
- Map out 10 year dreams as a team – Have you talked about goals recently? Constantly tweaking or talking big can really inspire closeness and a team building focus. We talk finances, faith, family, and travel goals on a regular basis but, we also talk health goals, work goals, retirement goals and bucket list ideas as well!
- Mentor a younger relationship – This creates a a huge sense of accomplishment because you have made it far enough to share your personal insight and to have someone asking for advice you have to be doing things to have earned that! It also is so motivational to be around young love!
- Know your number – This is not you phone numbers or your kids social security cards. This is you sex number for the week. How much is perfect for you? How much does you significant other want? Have you created a number that works for you? This is not a scheduled sex life but an opportunity to fulfill each other in this area.
- Choose technology free time and spaces – We all spend too much time in front of a screen. If it is not a computer it is a tablet, phone or tv. We personally combat this problem by not having screens in the bedroom or at the dining room table. Our alarm clocks are old school so we leave phones in the office and we choose specific hours to go phone-less on purpose. (Church service is one of those times where we leave the phones at home or in the car most of the time. )
- Pray and Read together – Another article by Dr. David Stoop cites an even more shocking statistic: the divorce rate among couples who pray together on a daily basis is less than one per thousand. That makes prayer an almost fool-proof way to secure your marriage! Unfortunately, he cites another statistic: only 4% of Christian couples actually do pray… I also believe in reading together. Aloud. Anne Harnett states ‘”As adults, reading aloud to one another is something we think we might have grown out of, but that’s only because we’ve forgotten how intimate and cozy it is to be read to, or to read aloud to someone who listens. It’s a simple, low-maintenance way to connect. And if you can tell a good story, I now believe, you can win anyone over, even the most skeptical of listeners.” I happen to fully endorse this! Pick up a book, a fun read, a self-help, or even our book on Romance! https://www.amazon.com/Exceptional-Romance-Igniting-marriage-replacing/dp/168470846X/ref=sr_1_1?crid=WOJD3B8Z6BDE&keywords=an+exceptional+romance+by+Kate+Dahlin&qid=1650465076&sprefix=an+exceptional+romance+by+kate+dahlin%2Caps%2C59&sr=8-1
“Time is the currency of relationships. There’s no way to invest in a relationship without investing your time.” -Unknown