I have always been someone who really treasured kids. As the oldest of a large family and my life work as a dance instructor, kids were always in the picture. I loved every minute of it but I also always made sure people got that comment “I was glad I could give them back”.
I had some resentment issues with the responsibilities that were put on me as a younger teen of helping out with my other brothers and sister. So despite loving children I was in no hurry to have my own when I got married. I wanted “me time” and “Couple time”.
It wasn’t until we were ready close to four and half years later, that my heart broke. I never thought a daughter of a woman who had six pregnancies and five children that I would struggle to conceive. God whispered to my soul that this was my true calling all along and now I was scared it wouldn’t happen. I struggled with my self and hating my body for not functioning the way it was supposed to. Unless you have been through this, you have no idea the pain this can cause. I can’t even explain it. There are no words.
A year and half, almost two, from when I first truly wanted a family of my own ,we were finally pregnant. I had never been so happy in my life. It still is one of the greatest moments of all time, for me.
I suddenly was coming into one of the biggest callings God had put on my life. I had wondered for so long what was I doing? I loved Ballet, I loved kids, I loved being married and even serving in ministry but I still felt like I was missing it…and I was. I was made to be a wife and a mother. Call me old-fashioned. Call me crazy but until this piece of the puzzle came I didn’t even know what I was missing.
I quit work three weeks before I was to deliver and worried the whole time that I would get bored. that I would need an outlet, feel trapped, feel like I was wasting my talents….Its was the smoothest transition of all time. I am not saying you need to be a stay at home mom but I am saying I personally needed too. It was my true destiny. I don’t know when I’ve been happier than when the day I came home for good. Not to sit around and eat cookies with my kids and watch TV all day but to create a haven and a safety net for my family. To make my home a blessing for all to enter and to give my undivided attention to my family. It’s what has worked for me and I have never regretted it. Not once.
At about the time my daughter turned six months I had a good number of my friends asking me if I was going to go back to teaching, or if I was going to start a home business. At first I felt guilty I wasn’t doing more and bring in extra money for my family. Once again God whispered to me heart.
“When was taking care of a household not enough?”
If you are a stay at home mother and manager of a home do so with dignity and pride! Take courage in your role and don’t let media or friends make you think it’s a less than job. Just because you’re not juggling a hundred other things as well doesn’t mean your not doing the most fulfilling and best work ever!!
If you are working and mothering don’t let this be a reason for you to feel guilty you’re not at home with your babies! Make up your mind! Make your choice and love it! And don’t ever make anyone else’s decision change your convictions of who you are at the core. God created you to be you and nobody else! Loving and accepting that fact can bring peace to an anxious heart and frantic mind.
I read an article of a nurse who took care of hospice patients. She started asking them questions on life and what they regretted most. The number one things people regretted in the last days of their lives was this…not doing what they truly wanted.
I am a wife and mother at my core. This is the beat my heart dances to now and I soar when I am in these roles just like when I danced on a stage or taught classes. I am now a writer and lifestyle coach on top of mothering. I have had seasons of work, staying at home being a home manager and seasons of working from home where the lines blur.
Life may change, circumstances may change, and roles may even change but who I am on the inside doesn’t. Right now I love what I do, and what decisions I have made for myself. Make sure you do too. NO regrets. Love who you are! No one can be you.
Accept no one’s definition of yourself. Define yourself. – Harvey Feirstein
I love this quote and I agree with it for the most part but I would like to add something or make a twist to it…
Accept no person’s definition of you. Allow only Christ to define who you are. – Kate Dahlin
4 Be delighted with the Lord. Then he will give you all your heart’s desires.
prevoiusly posted 12/2015
One thought on “Loving Your Life”
Well written and amazing as always. I cherish you and what you do for our family.
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