Recently someone posted a Facebook banner right after my one of my favorite holidays. Thanksgiving!!! I love it. It’s about food and putting aside all prejudice and loving and being a team. It’s about community and connectedness. It’s about the more the merrier! Anyway, the banner was laid out across a beautifully decorated table with multiple wine glasses and greenery. The banner said FRIENDSGIVING. I immediately had envy.
It’s not that I didn’t have a big, fun, crazy thanksgiving full of everything American and perfect. My family is huge and this year was one of the best! We got to celebrate at my brothers new gorgeous home, my husband had his first fried turkey, and my mom didn’t cry over any drama!! It was picture perfect. What made me envious was…. I have been in search for a new BFF. Its been one of my goals this year.Truly.
I come from a long line of very close family members and closer friends. I have tons of really amazing people who I can call at a moments notice if I needed them and I count myself very very blessed. But I’ve been in a desperate need of someone who sticks closer than a brother. I count my sister-in-laws as some of my favorite people and friends. My blood sister and my husband are my other very best of BFF’s. I have two BFF’s from childhood. They are one day apart in bdays (that’s weird!!) and though we have moved hundreds of times away from each other and some of us are in completely different places in life — we have shared so much together. I don’t expect anyone to be like that kind of friend in 6 months. I mean one of them I have known since we were in nursery together!!! That kind of friend takes time. I met someone close after a few years of being in a new city and that I consider my ATL BFF but she moved “out” and its heartbreaking. I have been missing that friend something fierce!
I want the friend you can call last min and just say “hey meet me at park in 10 min. or what ya doing tomorrow?” When you live over an hr away from one another it makes that hard. It makes you ache for the loss of what was.
There’s plenty of potential in so many of my good friends! As an adult things are harder. There are your kids nap schedules and hubby’s coming home for dinner and there’s the work-out buddies versus the mommy buddies and the church buddies and the neighbourhood buddies. I love them all and as I’ve grown up I’m learning to be a woman who loves relationships with other women. I haven’t always been this way. Growing up with three brothers …when I was younger I chose to hang-out with fewer women and more boys when I had the chance. (Another flaw of mine).
As an adult I’ve learned to embrace the differences and the strength that so many can create. A beautiful master piece of networking and connectivity. But I’m looking for something deeper. As someone who moved around her whole life finding those “forever friends” is a heart cry of my soul. People who won’t leave you no matter how far away you are. That friend you can call on at 3 am. (as cliché as that sounds).
I have read three different books on friendships this year and am doing two bible studies involving relationship focus! I’ve learned a lot. You can’t force it, but you must be proactive. You can’t have too high of expectations. You have to be a friend before you can find one….blah blah blah.
To be my Diana to my Anne of Green Gables. To be my Monica to my Rachel. Can anybody relate? In a world of connection, we are lacking deep, intimate friendships and interactions. The thing is, I’m looking for it so hard that I wonder if I’ve missed the beauty of the smaller scale friendships that have evolved. Its possible these have even taken its place.
When I was young I had one friend to do it all with. As an adult I have multiple people to be pieces in this ever evolving puzzle of life.
The potential lies in the so many beautiful people who are sharing my life as a reflection and a desire of seeking out the BFF. I have more people and more true involvement than I have had in a long time. I might also be missing out on some of it because I’m so worried about “Could she be my BFF?!”
BFF’s look different in adulthood, it’s harder than the playground when all you had to have was a matching desire to learn to jump rope and a dislike of the bully – you were friends for life. As adults its more intricate, more delicate, and far more evolving.
Can you relate? What person is standing right in front of you and you’re looking past them to something you thing might be greater? Do you realize how amazing you have it? This holiday season let rejoice for the people who create our lives. The ones who let us be apart of their masterpieces and who create part of our puzzles. They are our now and they are our BFF’s!!
“some people arrive and make such an impact in your life you can barely remember what life was like without them” — Anne Taylor