Identity Shifts

I had a real big scare recently. Big. BIG! I mean really enormous.

To not bore people with the details I’ll just say this. After an amazing hangout time with my little sister over a long week-end I sent her home to find out that night she rushed to the ER having a heart-attack. She is 20 years old.

My sister is my best friend. She is also my only sister, (I have three brothers too). She is the one that introduced my husband into my life and the one who came up and took care of my toddler while I was in the hospital having my second child.

I taught her how to put on make-up and to drive. I let her hog the covers and share my room. She was/is a mini-me and I was her second mother. Literally.

As a Lifestyle Coach, I am well aware that when transitions in life happen (whether self made or circumstantial) your identity can shift. When this happens you can be swimming upstream not knowing what to do with your new self. Fear can take over. So what do you do?

Take Action:

Confront your fear. Often, our immediate reaction to fear is to become immobilized by it. I know. I actually did everything but confront what was in front of me when I heard the news of my sister. I wanted to pretend it was fine. She was fine. I needed to do normal things and pretend it was normal. Don’t cry. Don’t talk about what was going on in my head or how I was feeling. NOT what I recommend.

As a result, we may procrastinate a task that intimidates us. Or fearing we will make a blunder, we don’t do it at all. The way to overcome this gut reaction is to face it head on. Do the thing that scares you. Call the doctor about that “thing”. If you are afraid of screwing up an assignment, dive into it with everything you have. If you are scared of a social situation, go with the intention of making one new friend. By tackling our fears head on, we reduce the power they have over us, and therefore are able to conquer them.

By finally, (by force) going to the doctor to figure out what was going on with her body. my sister gained some valuable insight about her health and it saved her life.

Don’t wait for things to come crashing because you don’t think your capable or fear of the knowledge of “________” has you immobilized. The fear of having that knowlege scares people. It could shift your personal identity if you knew “__________”…so you’ll ignore it. DON’T. It could save your life. It could be the best shift in your identity that’s ever happened. Or it could just be the next stair step of growth. Just don’t put it off. Your going to have transition happen. How you handel it, makes you who you are.


Change Your Approach:

If you know something you have done in the past did not work, change your approach. For example, if you were up for a promotion at work and did not receive it, ask yourself “what did I do last time and how can I do it differently this time?” Often, by changing our approach to a certain situation, we can completely change the outcome. With changing your outcome you are changing your results and your future results!

Create an image of fearlessness and confidence. Be fearlessly authentic. Be fearlessly brave to move forward at all times.

What would you say is your top priority?

Do you allow circumstances to happen to you or do you make your own circumstances?

When something happens are you an immobilizer or procrastinator?

I am not a product of my circumstances, I am a product of my decisions – Stephen Covey

PS. My sister is doing well and recovering amazingly. She is putting health as a top priority.



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