I am a high expectation, type A, first born. If you have followed this blog for any kind of a season you know this. I like order, lists, goals, and a plan at all times. This is great! It keeps everyone on target. And for the most part it’s what I recommend for a high achieving, beautiful life. I have dozens of posts just on this topic to help you make this happen! But recently “my Plan” was just not happening. It was bedtime and despite the schedule, the plans, the rushing after sports practice, crockpot meals, and bath time we were epically failing at it.
There was nothing high achieving, or beautiful about it. It was yelling, forgetting to brush their teeth, late exhaustion and failure to read or do homework. It had me angry, grouchy, one kid n tears and my husband pulling “Right now!” “OR Else!” phrases out. So I went to a friend. In asking a friend ahead of me How she was doing in this I thought she could give me a better list. I could gain some perspective. She gave me a simple answer that I should have known but being in the middle of it you just can’t. My blinders were on.
“You’re not in that season anymore and it sounds like you haven’t let yourself go from it.”
Sometimes we hold onto our idea of what should be and in it we loose grace for our now. Years ago I read two books that encouraged me in such profound ways I recommend them to everyone. Turns out, I should have recommended them to my future self.
Are you in a place where you are:
IN Denial
Dismiss Constantly
Have a “What you should do attitude” or problem solving constantly
Minimizing
If you are, reading The Life-Giving home by Sally + Sarah Clarkson, will empower you! Reading Give Your Kids a Break by Kim Fredrickson will be a gift to yourself and everyone around you! These two books can help transform a crazy challenging thought process to a calmer more restful place. And remember that it is in letting grace in that creativity and peace are able to flourish.
I let go of the” little kid” bedtime routine and took off the expectations of that. I have no more” bedtime alarms” or screaming dinners because of speed. With bigger kids with sports and small groups and homework every night it is different. We do not go to bed every night at 7:45 pm after two board books a cuddle and song. We are coming in from late night practices at 8:10 sweaty and hungry and loads to do. So instead of freaking out that we are already “late” I have chosen to embarrass my now. To give grace. We now just say “Bedtime” and we all know what to do. It’s not perfect and it’s not the same any two nights… but it is Grace. It is acknowledging our now. Sometimes it is earlier and sometimes it is later. I have a range but I of not beat isle up if we can’t make the goal all the time.
It is a simple story and some of you may thing “well of course” but in what area do you find yourself absorbed in your routine that you possibly have missed the opportunity of creating more. where are you stuck? What is holding you back for more creative thought and peace?
- What can you do this week to accept the season you are in now instead of holding onto what was or what you hope it to be?
- Where can you give yourself a break?
- Where can you find greater creativity and joy?
- Where is one thing you want to eliminate expectation?
Creating Exceptional 