Marriage Versus Motherhood

With this week being the week after we love on all the mom’s and the mothering figures in our lives I felt it only appropriate to share some of my thoughts on the balancing act of the roles of motherhood and my romantic relationship.

The big point in this post is the honor we have as mothers. It is beautuful but it is also dangerous at times for our marriages. We can very quickly focus on our role as mother over the role that made us one. The danger of that is we can loose our romantic lives in the process.

Your kids more than likely came after your marriage and they must ALWAYS stay there.  I don’t care if you have a miracle baby who is only eight months old and your still nursing him.  Get a babysitter!  Break up with that child.  One day that kid will yell at you, will go off to college, marry another, and create a new family.  Where will you be with your marriage?  The best advice we ever got on this subject was from a couple who didn’t have children.  The reason we took the advice?  They were on the outside and could see stuff that all of us who had kids couldn’t see.  We were in it, we were blinded, we were tired, and we were busy.  It was the best advice. Make sure your marriage always stays in front of your kids.

I am a mother to a miracle child and what we call our “bonus baby”.  I had high risk pregnancies with both of them and we are lucky we have them at all.  They are my pride and joy.  My special bonus.  My dream that I cried and deeply feared would never be a reality.  And I became a lioness when they were born.  No one could care for them the way I could.  If I had not taken this advice to heart I know for a fact Steve and I would be in a challenging spot.

However, our marriage must come first. Your babies will be better off when you prioritize your husband.  Your marriage can be a thriving, dynamic and energizing machine, while raising children. When the kids head out on their own, you won’t be devastated and unaware of what to do with yourself.  Trust me, you both will be much better parents for putting each other above all other relationships, including your children. 

Proverbs 31:28 Her children rise up and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her.