Kate and I were at a marriage event where the topic of going to bed angry with your spouse was brought up. It’s a big NO NO in most church circles. Most people are familiar with the often quoted verse from Ephesians 4:26 – “And ‘don’t sin by letting anger control you.’ Don’t let the sun go down while you are still angry (NLT).” Most have interpreted this to mean you should always work out your arguments prior to going to bed as it is not biblical to allow unresolved anger to build and carry over to tomorrow.
The speaker Shaunti Feldhahn @ShauntiFeldhahn brought up an interesting point that I had failed to see in my past study – Paul was actually referencing King David’s comments from Psalms 4:4 which states, “Don’t sin by letting anger control you. Think about it overnight and remain silent (NLT).” Did you read that right? Yes, you sure did… think about it overnight and remain silent. There it is – the power of unspoken words. The Bible talks a lot about the power of the tongue and that it can either tear down, rebuke, criticize, and destroy, or it can uplift, praise, encourage, and bless. In the middle of an argument when tensions and passions are high, what are you most likely to do?
You can’t take back what you say. Don’t be afraid to restrain your words in order to keep unity and peace. There will always be time to work out the issues and disagreements. Odds are that after a good nights sleep and some time to reflect and pray, your words and mine will be more infused with the love of Christ and a resolution will be easier achieved.